Forget about New Year resolutions and write yourself a letter instead!
Happy New Year…It is the beginning of a new year and time for reflection. Typically, we tend to make New Year resolutions to set goals such as improving our health, our relationships, etc…
Many of us succeed, while many don’t. According to a 2016 study, of the 41% of Americans who make New Year resolutions, only 9% feel they are successful in keeping them by the end of the year.
According to a 2016 study, of the 41% of Americans who make New Year resolutions, by the end of the year only 9% feel they are successful in keeping them.
Success rates of New Year resolutions dwindle with time.
- Of those who make a New Year resolution, only 75% are still successful in keeping them after 1 week.
- After 1 month, the number drops to 64%.
- And after 6 months, 46% of people who make a resolution are still successful in keeping them or keeping them the same from year to year. For example, in 2020 64% of the people who made such resolutions, kept some of the resolutions from 2019 while making some new ones.
Instead of developing new year resolutions, write yourself a letter for the future and tell yourself a story and congratulate yourself. This is a better way to focus our mental compass on what matters the most for us and activate our Positive Emotional Attractors.
Here’s a sample letter for your consideration:
Dear Me,
Congratulations, I am so proud of you for:
- Living my purpose
- Accomplishing the following: my health, my relationships…
- Overcoming the following…
- Connecting with the following people whom I care about and love…
- Living my values of…
- Taking care of the following…
- Stop doing/feeling/or being the following…
- Learning the following…
- Growing in the following way
- Taking care of other domains of concerns
You can save the letter electronically (which is what I do) or print it out and hang it where you can see it regularly.
On a regular basis, monthly or quarterly, you can check the progress on your story and letter and refocus your mental compass. You can ask yourself: Have I made progress? Am I on track? You can even rate each desired point of progress from 1-10 where 1 is no progress, to 10 well done… and be honest with yourself while also giving yourself some grace. You are not expected to get everything on that letter done. For the ones you rated yourself low, ask yourself, is it important to me? If so, what do I need to recommit to it?
If you like to go an extra step, you can translate the letter into goals and small steps, even have an accountability partner that would hold you accountable to progress. In his book Trigger, Marshall Goldsmith has a practice around questions that you can have someone you trust ask you daily if you are making progress on your commitments. The idea is that having someone holding you accountable would trigger positive change.
No matter what process you use, the key is to celebrate the fact that you tried. Even if you don’t get everything accomplished, the fact that you made the effort in recognizing yourself is worth more than anything else.
